Wrong Step...

so many times...
i fall because of my own feeling....
facing difficulty...
by getting it through a friend...

so many times...
i hurt smeone...
thinking all about myself...
finding solutions that destroy smeone feeling...

so many times...
i broke the trust from smeone...
after so long building it...
after facing troubles together...

so many times...
i crushed the bond that was created...
by someone that help me get through...
all these days....
with tears n joy....
just becoz i thing it was right for everyone...
because i dun want to hurt that smeone anymore...

is it right??
im confused...
i though this was the best...
i dun want to be "the wall between them"...
that they should be worry about...
hope they can just continue on what they are doing...
leaving me with my unfinished business...

just dunno how this will end...
i think ive took the wrong path ...
dun think that smeone will forgive me...
or accept me as friend anymore...
but that doesn't matter anymore...
too late now...

from the bottom of my heart...
i dun want this to happen...
i dun even want it to start...
but i hope i can forget all about it...
so i can continue living...

i think one of my friend was right...
judge ur life by how u can offer to other...
acceptance is just the implication of it...

Going through the hard days

Disember ....
bulan ke 3 selepas operation tersebut...
bermakna tinggal beberapa hari lagi d sini...
adakah ini merupakan nafas lega...
atau suatu penyiksaan bagiku...

3 bulan mengharungi nya...
menanti jawapan ...
harapan2 yg di beri....
sedikit demi sedikit hancur...
apabila sedikit demi sedikit ..
ternyata mustahil....

siapa lah aku untuk mengharap sesuatu yg bukan milikku...
biarlah harapan itu pergi ....
agar harapan baru dpt hadir menemani hari ku....
mungkin sesuatu yg aku harapkn ....
bukanlah yg terbaik utk ku...

setiap hari yg ku harungi...
terasa kesakitan nya...
dan kini keputusan telah dibuat...
tinggalkan....

maka segala keresahan ku pergi bersama harapan yg tak pasti...